Am I repelling the opposite sex? Please assess:
1. The hat – I realise it may look like a rectangle of road kill with two dangling gerbils. And, it is also 20 degrees Celsius outside, so yeah.
2. The shoes – featuring shiny reflective spots on what I can only assume to be fake leather. And the laces aren’t real, they are just elastic. I can’t tie my shoes (is that going to be a problem?)
3. The pants – these are harem pants that I have had to pull up to my chin and cuff at the bottom to avoid Marshall’s face v boardwalk, boardwalk wins.
4. The jacket – two words: novelty zippers.
With sincerest regards,